Here's a Middle Finger to the Ring Finger!

In Western cultures, a wedding ring is worn on the left ring finger. This developed from the Romans, and according to tradition in some countries, the wedding ring is worn on the left ring finger because the vein in the left ring finger, was believed to be directly connected to the heart. Blessing the wedding ring and putting it on the bride's finger dates from the 11th century.

How many of you actually knew that? I did not, and I thank Wiki for the low down. But that wasn't my question of the day. I want to know, why is it that some people equate happiness and being in a good place in life by what's on your left ring finger?

I can remember finishing college and feeling ready to conquer the world. I got a teaching position I loved, and started grad school. But for some reason I felt the urgency to be engaged and married! So, I got engaged(well of course not that simple, but for reading purposes it was!). Had the big, perfect diamond ring on my left finger. It brought alot of ooohs and aaaahs, and questions of an upcoming wedding. Yes, I was young, but of course there were still those few people that would ask, 'why arent you married yet?' Huh. Really? So they see the engagement ring, and automatically expect more. Lovely.

So, I get married, I stop wearing my engagement ring and just go with a plain wedding band. If you're a teacher you know the suckiness of chalk dust in your diamond setting. Anyway, then I find different questions begin. A few assume that I'm not married too long because of the lack of an anniversary band. Then I get an anniversary band, and they assume that I've been married for a long, long time, and things are awesome. But then they assume no children because there's nothing with birthstones. Then when I moved to PA, I actually, no joke, spoke to a girl that thought we were kinda sorta poor in her way of words, because I didn't have an engagement ring. Yea, silly me not wearing something every day that's worth more than your car. Argh.

Then last year my ring finger became naked. All my rings went into the pretty little boxes they started in. WELL. Empty ring fingers bring a whole new level to people's thoughts. She's divorced. She has kids but no husband. Wow, she's old and still not married(well that one is what I would think lol). Poor girl. How sad. Yada yada yada, you get my point. Here's a graph(yup, math nerd) of how I think people see your left finger.


I don't know why this all popped in my head yesterday, but truth be told, it urks me a bit. A bunch. I know people are judgmental, and I know that can't be changed. It's the assumptions that are made that bother me the most. Don't assume I have a crappy, hard life. Don't assume it sucks being single at this age. Don't assume my kids aren't better off.  Don't assume that because someone does have something on their ring finger they are happier than me. Or happy at all.

Comments

  1. Ambitions of a Trophy WifeMarch 13, 2011 at 12:41 PM

    so true.... it is amazing what we put merit into, both as individuals and society.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AGMarch 13, 2011 at 11:47 PM

    amen. I'm so tired of feeling like I have to justify my ringless finger. I just haven't met anyone good enough to be my husband. And that's okay with me.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

He's not the problem, their list is.

Image
Last week we went to the boys' annual checkup at the pediatrician. You know the appointment, you wait for what feels like an eternity, just to get into the tiny room, be poked at for a minute, then released to pay? Ya. But when I checked out I was given a new kind of 'receipt'. On each was the child's stats from the current visit, along with any other pertinent health happenings from birth to now. And I was faced with this on the top of Alex's paper: PROBLEM LIST. That was the first thing I noticed. Those ding dongs that just want money, see my son as having problems. Nice. But after I got past that title, the list below it hit me. Hard.  Our Autism journey has been nothing short of a miracle as most of you know. I wish I had documented more of our last 7 years. But now is so different than then. Alex is mainstreamed. He doesn't shut up. He's funny as hell. Yes, he struggles with his words sometimes, his anger sometimes, definitely with schoolwo...
Don't Stop Now! »

I've been driving for 19 years!

Image
My dad has a habit of buying a new car every year(used to be every six months!) and I think I got that habit. I've tried to stretch it to every 2-3 years at this point in life, but I'm thinking if I get back into a comfy place in life money-wise, I'll be right back to it. Here's a look back at some of my cars.... My first car was a 1979 VW Rabbit in poo brown. My dad and I sanded it down and took it for a $99 Maaco paint job. I chose turquoise. Horrid. We called it the blue dot special after that. I loved that car. My next baby was a 1987 Mercury Lynx. I liked this car, had much more room than the VW. I had an accident on the way to school one morning(rear ended my friend's mom!) and my punishment was to pay off the damage repair. I came home from work one day and the car was gone, dad sold it. Apparently when you go to college you don't need a car. :/ My 1993 Geo Tracker, by far my favorite to that point, and my friends will all tell you it was fun...
Don't Stop Now! »
Image
Well, I never thought I'd be saying this, but my little Christmas baby has rubbed off on me over the last few years. I find myself wanting to put out my decorations, hit play on my Elvis CD, and watch Rudolph. But strangely, I am getting resistance on the home front. What gives?? I know it's early, I'm well aware of the Halloween candy still sitting on the table. But with the weather changing(only slightly lol), I'm in holiday mode.  Perhaps it's because I don't have much to do during the day. Perhaps it's because I love the nights of sitting with hot chocolate and staring at the lights. But I'm pretty sure it's because of the family that I am blessed to have, with now four amazing children that I can't wait to spend the holidays with! It could be worse. I could still be living in the days of Alex listening to Christmas music year round and wanting the tree up in July :)
Don't Stop Now! »