February 26, 2011

All You Need is Love.

I woke up thinking of love songs. There's songs about happy love, broken love, wanting love, lost love. We nod our heads and sing along in agreement, sometimes with tears streaming But for some reason, my mind used the songs differently this morning. I was thinking about my boys, as lyrics from a love song popped in my head, making for a sad thought. Huh.

Of course the love of our children is a much different love they are singing about, but what we hear still rings true to some extent. Right now my boys are going through a bit of sadness, a love loss from that person that they should never feel love loss from(I'll give you a hint....it's not this parent), and I'm in turn feeling heartbreak for them. A few lyrics that come to mind quickly:

"I'll be there to protect you, with an unselfish love that respects you/Just call my name and I'll be there"

" When you're weary /Feeling small /When tears are in your eyes /I will dry them all /I'm on your side" 

"I can't live/with or without you"
"You are the sunshine of my life/that's why I'll always be around"

But mostly right now, all I keep hearing is the ever-so haunting Jar of Hearts, because that's how I'm feeling about the situation at hand.
"Who do you think you are, runnin' 'round leavin' scars..."

Yes yes,  I know the songs in their entirety are not kid-friendly. I just sometimes hear that little line or two that is relevant, and I don't want that. My kids shouldn't have sad songs that they can relate to. I find solace in listening to songs like these. Unfortunately right now it's the only comfort I have, to dance to these songs in the kitchen with my boys, knowing I give them as much love and affection  as one parent can give.

February 25, 2011

February 24, 2011

Photo Challenge: Day Twenty Eight?

Oh my damn, I missed this one yesterday. I think my subconscious did it purposely:)
A picture of something you are afraid of.

Mummenschanz scares the piss out of me, and I even teared up as I googled it. No, I don't want to talk about it.

Photo Challenge: Day Twenty Nine

A picture that always makes you smile.

February 23, 2011

Feeling Sad? Angry? Depressed? Shake It Like a Polaroid Picture!

My boys are not early birds like me. Most days they wake up on the not-so-nice side of the bed. They grumble through getting dressed and breakfast, and if I'm lucky, by the time we are on the way to school, they lighten up a bit. It makes for a very tense morning for someone who is awake at 5am!

One way I've tried to perk them up for as long as I can remember is to pump up the music. While they are eating breakfast at the counter, I'm in the kitchen grooving like a nutty. Usually they just tell me to stop and shhh.

Then I started doing it in the car too. I'd find the happiest, danciest music I could, and start bopping around. The looks I get when I peek in the rear view mirror are priceless. They want no part in it.

But then, I simply tell them they can't get out of the car until they dance. After some bickering, I get maybe a head bop, or some robot moves. All it takes is those first few moves, and they are hooked. Before you know it there are smiles, and giggles, and my boys are awake and ready for their day.

Maybe more grownups should try dancing their stress out. The game Just Dance is a great help if you're not sure how:)

Photo Challenge: Day Twenty Seven

A picture of yourself and a family member.
 I don't have many pics of me and baby boy, and he never quite smiles, so I always liked this one...even though my hair was awfully short:)

February 21, 2011

Photo Challenge: Day Twenty Five

A picture of your day.
I have the privilege of working from home. Someone wonderful in my life built me this beautiful desk for my room to my exact specs, and I have everything I need. Phone, laptop, lighting, dog sleeping behind me. I'm a lucky gal.

1ups, Star Power, and Coins, Oh My!

Am I the only one that hears this sound on a daily basis?
Some days I'm pretty sure I am.

When I played old skool Nintendo when I was younger, I sucked at it. I tried Mario and was lucky if I beat level one. I preferred Duck Hunt and Mike Tyson's Punch Out. Not so much coordination necessary. After that craze, I pretty much stopped playing games until computer games became popular, and even then it was a select few.

But now, life is very different. I play. Too much. My boys have successfully overrun my life with Mario and all his little friends/enemies. It started off as a simple game rental almost 2 years ago. Then it became a Wii game purchase. Then a tshirt. Then a Netflix rental of the old tv series with Captain Lou. The DS games. Then sweatsuits. Then books, games, figurines, backpacks. It even got to the point of me crocheting little dudes.

Where does it end? And at what cost? I've never seen a Nintendo product go on sale, have you?

I guess I should look at the bright side. The games are great for the kids' hand/eye coordination, and I'm pretty sure I'd rather them work on problem solving within the game than sitting still and lifeless in front of the tv. It's something we all do together, and share in our triumphs and failures within each board. I guess Mario can stick around a while longer. Or at least until we beat Bowser, unlock characters, save Peach, and whatever else needs to be done in our pile of games:)

February 17, 2011

Photo Challenge: Day Twenty One

A picture of something you wish you could forget.

Hmm...call me crazy here, but if it's something I'd like to forget, why would I post a picture to remind me? 
I'll pass on this one!

February 13, 2011

To See or Not to See?

If you know me well, you know I don't like going to the movies. At all. Ever. Yes, I take my boys and I sit through the kiddie movies, as it's my duty.  Yesterday was Gnomeo and Juliet. Not the worst, but thank goodness Elton John did all the music, at least it kept me humming throughout. I digress.

I have always felt that sitting through a movie wasted a few hours of my life. Especially as I've gotten older, when as a mom, hours to myself are hard enough to obtain. Then to waste them silently in front of a screen? Ugh.

But then I took myself to a movie last year. I bought one ticket, one popcorn, one soda. And I just soaked it in. Quietly. Alone. I didn't have to do anything, think about anything, talk to anyone. Huh. Maybe I had it all wrong. My logic was backwards. Rather than say I'm wasting my time being quiet and alone, I should have said I'm lucky to have the time to waste being quiet and alone!

Since then I've gone to a few more movies. Actually I've seen more in the last 2 months than I have in the last 5 years. Of course the popcorn is the initial hook to get me to go, but once I'm there I'm content. Calm. Quiet. Popcorn.

Please don't over-read here. I'm still not a huge movie -oving buff. Just saying I tolerate it better now, and have found a different purpose for the time spent in a theater. Thought I'd just share for my other mommy friends looking for a peaceful place to run and hide once in a while :)

Photo Challenge: Day Seventeen

A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently.

February 12, 2011

Photo Challenge: Day Sixteen

A picture of someone who inspires you.

Of course I was going to put my mom. But then I was going to put my kids. Then I was going to put my niece. Then I realized all the kids in my immediate family inspire me and make me want to be a better gal for them to look up to. Then, I found this picture. And it's my mom and all the kids in my life: my boys, my niece, and my nephews. Perfection.

February 11, 2011

Photo Challenge: Day Fifteen

A picture of something you want to do before you die.

Well, lots of stuff, but I need to see this.

February 10, 2011

Deep Breaths and Baby Steps.

Balance. Something that all moms strive for in life. Work, home, money, kids. Balance. After being a stay at home mom for 7 years, I found a bit of balance. But then I became a single mom with all the same responsibilities, but no job. No balance. Stress. Panic. Deep Breaths.

Months went by and I still felt overwhelmed and stressed. My job situation was less than desirable, and I was barely able to make ends meet. Besides money and home, kids were a huge issue as well. Getting them into a new routine, doing everything myself, and of course dealing with their mental and emotional issues of divorce. Heightened stress. Heightened panic. I was sure I'd never be able to survive the mess.
Now it's  months after those months. I have a great job that allows me to be at home. My kids are settling into a routine and have found a new sense of what happiness and family is. I am able to pay the bills, tend to the house, work, and enjoy my boys. Sure, I'm exhausted at the end of the day, but I'm not in panic mode. I'm not stress eating, I'm not sad. I've found an inner peace, that has begun to permeate through the rest of my life.

I will always strive for more, but that's just the kind of gal I am. For now though, I'm content with being able to enjoy life one baby step at a time. The deep breaths have gone from necessary to calm me down, to necessary to take in all the goodness around me.

Photo Challenge: Day Fourteen

A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without. 

February 9, 2011

Photo Challenge: Day Thirteen

A picture of your favorite band or artist.

How can you ask me to choose just one? Fine, but I disagree with the idea.

February 8, 2011

Who's Got the Fever?

The Bieber Fever that is. LOL, so ridiculous. He's such a little girly looking thing, with his silly hair that he's always flipping. Watching the little girls I know or the ones on tv go ga-ga over him is nauseating!

But then I think back to when I was a tween. Before my hair band addictions. You remember, you'd beg your mom for the new copy of Tiger Beat or Bop so you could rip out the pictures to hang on your bedroom walls. Then the big decision once you ripped a page out was which side to hang it up on! 

So this girly boy that's oh-so-famous right now got me thinking, who was I screeching over and hanging on my walls? Well my top two are an easy remember:
 This girl cried like a baby when River died. Another talent lost over stupidness. But Johnny, my dear Johnny, my love for 21 Jump Street...after all these years he's still one I'd hang on my wall.

A few close runners up would be the cuties below. I enjoyed them too, but if I had to choose the A or B side of a magazine picture, they'd be the B side.
My time line is a little off here for sure. Dylan McKay came a lot later, but he was still on my radar. Him and Brandon were the Edward/Jacob of the time...I was always Team Dylan.

Whose pictures graced your walls?

Photo Challenge: Day Twelve

A picture of something you love.
Any cotton candy will do, but I like blue the best!

February 7, 2011

Photo Challenge: Day Eleven

A picture of something you hate.
Tardiness drives me insane. Set your watch ahead, get up earlier, have two alarms, I don't care...just be on time!

February 6, 2011

Photo Challenge: Day Ten

A picture of the person you do the most messed up things with.

This is a no-brainer for me. My sister and I don't usually go out with the expectation of getting into strange situations or trouble, but somehow it always finds us. My mom's parting words to us are always "I'm not bailing you two out!"

This picture was taken at Yankee Stadium after being in the city all night and sleeping on the sidewalk. I'd fill you in on the details, but it's so far fetched you wouldn't believe me anyway. Ahh, good times.

February 5, 2011

Photo Challenge: Day Nine

A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most.

Well, my family is tight so we all get each other through at times. But the person I'd say the most? Well...
...myself. I think even though you can call your mom and sisters a million times, and get all the advice and love in the world from them, ultimately it comes down to taking care of yourself. I chose a pic with the boys partly to remind myself of why it's so important for me to stand on my own feet these days :)

February 4, 2011

Photo Challenge: Day Eight

A picture that makes you laugh.

I have a few from my mom's birthday weekend last year that make me laugh, but this is my favorite. My sister has never tried Pop Rocks before! Had never tried.....and won't again I believe.....

February 3, 2011

Photo Challenge: Day Seven

A picture of your most treasured item.

I find this to be a difficult task. My most treasured things are people, not things. Nonetheless, here's a very important item I possess. I posted long ago about it being missing, but here it is in its entirety today!

February 2, 2011

Photo Challenge: Day Six

A picture of someone you miss.

Don't be surprised if you see more pics of me and Mo over the next 24 days!

February 1, 2011

Phot Challenge: Day Five

 A picture of your favorite memory

How does someone that has lived a full life until now pick just one memory? I have a million just from my boys alone. I chose this picture because it was taken where we are happiest together...Hershey Park! We go as many times a year as we can, and Christmastime is our favorite time of year to go:)