My one in 365

Tomorrow is my big day. The big 3-3. Honestly, I lost count at 30. For some reason I just don't even care how old I am, as long as I'm still in the 30s. I feel the same. I act the same. And if I can lose the last 20 pounds, I'd probably look the same. Even now I still get proofed to drink and sometimes even for lottery tickets.

I have a friend that had a big list of things she'd like to do in her next year of life, but I don't really feel that I have too much to do. I'd like to continue to get myself healthy again, I'd like to continue teaching, and I'd like to continue to help my boys grow and learn. Of course there's some materialistic things I can say(new washer/dryer, car, etc), but even those don't feel all that important this year. I used to get really excited for my big day, talk about it weeks in advance, and celebrate for at least 4 days straight. But this year I feel like just sleeping right through it.

Maybe today is just my birthday funk day. You know the day. The day it hits you that you're older, could have accomplished more by now, wish you had more kids by now, a more lucrative career, etc etc. Hopefully tomorrow will just be smiles, presents, and cake-filled. But for today, I'll just hang here in my pjs and look back instead of ahead.

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