Life in the Slow Lane

My days are different lately. I will spare you all the drab details, but what I will say is how life can change in the blink of an eye(yes, literally). I'm not a good decision maker, and have been known to make my fair share of lousy ones. But what I can say on the flip side, is that even if I make a crap decision, I somehow, always dig myself out of the hole I got into, and come out clawing and stronger. That's how I feel today. That's how I've felt for a few weeks now. Shit, I'm in a hole. A big hole. A hole that I didn't fall into, I actually jumped in. My best move? Some would say absolutely, positively not. I (not today but at times) say hell yes. If you don't change and take a leap sometimes, how does life move forward? Isn't that why they call it a ' leap of faith '? You might not have my back this time, or during some of my previous decisions, and that's ok. There have been times I was on the outside looking in on someone, just...

I just saw this and got a little ticked: Don't ask why I got ticked, I'm not too sure, it just doesn't sit well. If you're having a day where you are feeling down and pessimistic, you could care less about this silliness! I have a lovely life and lovely things, I don't deny that. But I'm a gal that always wants more. Not material things, just life happenings.  I'm having one of those days where I question every aspect of one area of life. How did I get here? What can make it better? Why is it never enough? I've said before that I'm a pessimist , and I firmly stand behind that self proclamation. I find it easier to see the negative, then be pleasantly surprised at the positive when(if) arrives. My judgement is severely clouded today though, so I don't even know what I feel.  I can tell you I'm smelling change in the air though. No idea if that will change my perception of this life area, but I know it will make me feel somethin...

Did I take a wrong turn somewhere? There's a fork in my road. What now? Is it worth it? Decisions change everything. Follow my gut. Time will tell. Don't worry about what others say. Easier said than done, folks. I've done my best with this one, I've tried as hard as I could for what feels like a long time. I've had sleepless nights, cried, stressed, yelled. But nothing changes. People and places sometimes just.don't.change. So do I change? Do I change everything I believe in? Dare I conform? No, no, no. Even as I'm typing this I'm shaking my head saying no way. That's not who I am. I was not raised to back down. I stand firm in what I believe. So did I just answer my own blog thought/question? Am I staying on the fork path I'm already on and fighting for it to go my way? I'm so torn. So confused. So unsure. So....tired. I guess time will tell on this one, but not a long time, only a week or so. I guess I'll have to just stick it out b...

So, we went to this interesting auction over the weekend. Apparently it's held once a month, and it's 'silent'. No screaming and yipping bids, simply people with tiny mini golf pencils scrambling back and forth and grumbling about outbidding each other. Different. Strange. And awesome. We came home with some fun trinkets. A gumball machine, a drum set for my boy's birthday, some figurines, and this. This neat box that caught my eye during the last few minutes of the auction. People were fighting over some jewelry crap, so of course I had to get close enough to see what was going on. But as I did, I saw this sad little box. The tag said "Old Carnival Toy" and there was only one bid placed for $3. I've seen them before, not sure where, but I like them. So I bid $5. And won. Here's an crummy video I took so you can see. You simply turn the box over a few times and set it down. The sand inside creates the motion you see. It sits on my work desk, an...

Did you see the video floating around this week to talk to your younger self about skin cancer? It was wonderfully done, and it made me ask myself what I'd say to my younger self if I had the chance. Nothing deep, nothing about future predictions. Just life at that age. Here it is. Dear 16 year old me, You and your friends should try a bit less hairspray. Try to be nicer to the other cliques of girls in school, even though you are in one of the more known bitchier cliques. It won't matter years later who you hung out with most, it will matter who you were kindest to. If they are real friends,  you will continue to be friends with them 10/20/30 years down the line. Don't dump boy #1 for boy #2. Boy #2 will cause you unnecessary heartache and pain, and even many years after high school still make you regret your decision. Boy #1 becomes a great friend despite the mess, so appreciate that friendship. The job you have now is the best job you'll ever have. Enjoy every mi...

....there was a grape. Yup, totally bizarre. But that's how my mind works. This is what I was dreaming about last night.  I was writing a kiddie book in this dream, and that was my start. I was able to see the cute little green grape in my dream, and most of the adventure he was about to have. A funky dreamer I am! After most of my dreams I'm able to jump up and analyze them with my handy dandy dream dictionary. But oddly enough, the keyword 'grape' doesn't show up and give any great insight as to what my dream might mean. Maybe my dream is a thought of writing. I have always wanted to write a children's book. My biggest problem with doing so is the next step....what to do with the book. How do you get someone to publish it? Or better ye,t buy it? Just thinking about all of those post-writing steps has my mind spinning. Or...maybe my dream was a thought of just eating some grapes, as Mama likes to do. But if I saw a cute grape with a face skipping through th...

I'm just going to say it. My mom has a real problem. She's a game show junkie. Ever since I was little and stayed at home with her, she'd be flipping through channels to get to her favorites. Even now, with the help of the Game Show Network, she will watch and rewatch some oldies but goodies. Sadly, I have inherited this gene. Being on a game show is a must at some point in my life. Now that I'm working from home, I find myself flipping through to be sure and have Price is Right and Let's Make a Deal on in the other room, so I can at least hear what great deals people are making!! Game shows aren't what they used to be though, so I thought I'd reminisce about some of my all time favorites. 1. Match Game : yes, I'm guilty of still watching this one on GSN. Folks like Richard Dawson, Charles Nelson Reilly, and Brett Somers made it a great show. I still get a kick out of many of their questions, and even more so now that I'm older and have more of a w...

A whole, roasted hazelnut atop of whipped chocolate filling, hugged by a generous portion of dark chocolate. Sound tempting? IT IS! Perugina(now Nestle) Baci are hands down my favorite little treat at this time of year. Baci are available throughout the year these days, but are much more accessible around the holidays. Individually wrapped in a silver foil, and each contain a small piece of paper. What is written on the paper is not a fortune, but rather a love note. Quotes about love and relationships. Thoughts to ponder as you bite into this heavenly piece of chocolate. Here's some examples of what you might find: There is no instinct like that of the heart. ~G. Byron Kisses kept are wasted; Love is to be tasted. ~E.V. Cooke Every great love begins with a kiss ~Anonymous I usually get a box when I go home and hit my favorite bakery in the world. But nowadays they are easier to come by, and sometimes I stumble upon them right here in the middle of nowhere!   So if you'...

Where does the time go? I look at my last post and see it's over 20 days ago. What the heck? Where have I been? What's so important in life that I don't have time to be here for a few minutes a day? lol. Tons, but I am back:) My thoughts for today revolves around a saying that I don't care for. There are many sayings I don't care for, but this one is up there on the list. Time Heals All Wounds. Says who? Where did that come from? Who decided this huge thing? How does the passing of days, weeks, or even months make something better? Is the something being replaced? Simply forgotten about? I feel like what is being said is, 'hey, sit back and relax, soon enough you won't be sad.' I've had a few things happen in life that I can truly say have not been healed by time. Maybe the person that came up with the concept decided he/she just needed to tell him/herself something to look forward to. I'd love to hear some feedback on why people actually t...

I'm not one to care about the age number, but I always tend to think about accomplishments on my birthday. What has happened between my last birthday and now, and what's to come in the next 364 days. I won't bore you with all that, but I'm hoping the upcoming year is better than my last. I also think the older we get, the more sentimental we become on birthdays. My boys gave me a simple Happy Birthday Mom card today, and I cried. Yup, wasn't sappy or anything, but nonetheless I cried. Just the feeling of them being old enough to acknowledge my day, my older son being able to sign the card neatly, and them singing HB pushes me right over the edge. I guess it's another indicator that I'm getting older if they're getting older. My hair gets grey much quicker these days, I'm more forgetful, my eyesight is quite sucky, and I couldn't even tell you what I had for breakfast today. Should I apply for social security and go eat lunch at the senior cente...

My favorite part of my US Magazine weekly subscription is the section where one celebrity tells a bunch of random, random stuff about their life. Here's some things I would put in that section if they ever call to feature me:) 1. I hate Pillsbury pop containers, freak me out. 2. I unbuckle my seatbelt on bridges, some even require a window roll down. Never can be too prepared. 3. I love to read. When I do get the chance I can do a book in two nights maximum. 4. I'm so grateful to have a strong Italian family that helps each other through big and small. I can’t imagine life without them. 5. I don't like to cook anymore. I'll bake if the mood strikes, but I could eat cereal every night for dinner and be satisfied. 6. I can't stand when my boys get wild and start running around the house screaming. But then I think how just a few months ago they didn't even interact, so I just let them have at it. 7. I would still be a judgemental loud-mouth mom if it...

Yupper, not a very useful photo to you at all I'm sure. But to me, it symbolizes so much. It's actually a picture I took at around 5am one morning in the fall. I thought of writing this post then, but got completely sidetracked. It's my favorite time of day here, and that's the best view in the house. Silence is something that doesn't really exist when you have a house with two small boys. They hardly sleep, they are always running, and fight plenty. So some days I will purposely get up early, make coffee, and just sit on the couch. I stare out the window, and over the mountain the sun is coming up. I'd love to be on my porch  enjoying the scenery, but it's too cold! So I sit wrapped in a blanket, coffee in hand, and soak in the beauty. The silence. Days get too hectic sometimes, and it's hard to take a step back and breathe. But having that sweet little hour to myself, to regroup and ready myself to be a great mom for the day, makes all the differe...

...of course this is the motto for the NY lottery in case you didn't know. Today when winning a whopping $5 on a scratch-off, I thought back to a post from last year about winning Powerball  . I'm still here, so I haven't won yet, but I started to think yet again what would I do with some extra cash? Well right now, the thing I'd love to do most is open my cupcake shop. And when I looked back at the Powerball post, it's on that list too! Here's my dream shop: 50s theme design, lots of white, black, and hot pink. Retro stools at the counter, great music on a full-sized jukebox, and awesome coffee brewing at all times. But here's the extra spin I'd put on it. You know how there's Coyote Ugly with the gals that dance? Well, I want something like that. I want to have my cupcake girls dishing out the cupcakes, and dancing on the hour. Heck they do it down at Ellen's Stardust Diner in NYC, so why not here in the middle of nowhere? Not only is it ...

I don’t believe in making New Year’s Resolutions anymore. I think I did when I was younger, but then realized I never, ever, ever kept to them. What percentage of people really do anyway? The closest I can come to a resolution right now is to be sure to take my vitamins and calcium every day, and even that’s a tall order for me that I forget every 3 days or so. But, with a new year comes new hopes and expectations. I hope for many things this year, and unfortunately am hoping for a lot right out of the starting gate. A hope of good health of my family is up there as number one priority. This upcoming week will not only prove our worth as a cohesive family unit, but hopefully strengthen us and make us appreciate each other and life more. I hope for my career to finally take shape again after many years of uncertainty. I want this current endeavor to work out and remind me of why I loved teaching in the first place. I hope for my kids to continue to learn and grow into funny r...

I watch Inside the Actor's Studio a lot. Of course my favorite part is the 10 questions asked to every guest. If I were on the show this is how I would answer the questions!! 1. What is your favorite word? Hodgepodge 2. What is your least favorite word? Quagmire 3. What turns you on? The smell of a hard working man 4. What turns you off? Cigarettes 5. What sound do you love? A content sigh 6. What sound do you hate? Whining. Suck it up and deal. 7. What is your favorite curse word? I say fucker alot 8. What profession other than yours would you like to attempt? Architect. Equine vet. 9. What profession would you not like to do? Bridge repair, panic attack overload 10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates? Huh, you’re here? Really? Let me double check my list….

That crap mood has followed me into this week, and I thought I'd take a few minutes today to share some groups of people(or kinda people) that annoy me. I went Christmas shopping last night, and even though I tried to just keep my head down and get from point A to point B without even noticing other people, it's quite hard when you come across some types. So here's a few people, groups, or whatever that I find annoying: 1. Women that wear way too much perfume. Happened when we went to the movies a few weeks ago and my friend and I were gagging and sneezing for about 20 minutes. Uck. 2. People who talk real loud on their cell phones . I don't care what you're making for dinner or where you spent last night. 3. Parents that let kids run loose in stores . I've always wanted to throw some peanuts at the kids since they are acting like wild animals and parents could care less. Then they cry if someone takes them, but who wants to take unruly kids anyway? 4....

Rotten mood is an understatement of how I was feeling the other night. Life had given me a swift kick to the throat, and sometimes you just don't have the best reaction to that. But now it's two days later. I've calmed down. Deep breaths. Happy thoughts. Life is good. Life will be better. So I'm reposting my post from the other day about everything happening for a reason, because I'm thinking this current bump in our life road is happening for a reason too. I'm not sure why yet, but hopefully it will become apparent as time goes on.... A while back I wrote about karma , of course on a day that I was in a rotten mood. I just couldn’t comprehend how things so bad could happen to people so good. But, as time has gone on, those windows have opened a bit more giving me a better glimpse, and I’ve slowly begun to understand why SOME things happen. Good or bad, sometimes they just need to happen. Life needs to go on, evolve, change. For the Better? No, not always. ...

Kids are screaming, phone is ringing. FedEx guy is ringing the doorbell, dinner is bubbling over. Homework isn't done, laundry isn't folded, kids need a bath. Typical evening to any mom! When I have a day like that, I already know ahead of time there's no escaping it. Just keep moving, don't stop think or get upset. But every once in a while I just stop in my tracks and close my eyes. I picture my favorite spot in the world to be. It's quiet, it's beautiful, and most importantly, in my mind it's kid-free. Cape Cod was my home away from home every summer until I got married. Sometimes I'd only get to stay for a weekend, but once in a while grandma would decide we could stay for a few weeks. The beach was a few blocks from the house. I have more memories of being there than I can even describe, and even though I don't get to visit there much anymore, I still think of it often. Sitting on the huge rocks, just watching the water and thinking of noth...