A snowy path to clarity.

I've been up since 3:30am with my son. I decided somewhere in the 5am range that today would be a great day to go walk the track. I layered my clothes, got my iPod, and set off. Little did I know before I left the house that it was 17 degrees out and completely frigid.

Half way around the track I slipped on ice. Hmm, I figured it would be all melted by now. Then around the next bend, it wasn't melted at all. It was covered with about 4 inches of snow. The wind started blowing, my eyes started watering, and I just stopped. I looked ahead, knowing how far away the melted area(and my car!) were. I got really upset. I wanted to cry. I wanted to go home.

Then I looked off to my right towards more snow. The track is around a huge field, and right in the middle is a covered picnic area. I remembered from last year that there is an off-shoot on my path to get to the picnic area. Maybe that would be a bit more walkable. 

So, I trudged through the snow, and found some walkable ground on my way to the middle of the field. I made it to the picnic tables, where it's poured concrete and lovely to walk on, then headed through some more snow to get to my car. When I finally got there I kicked up the heat and headed home.

As I took that side path, I felt defeated. I felt like I wasn't reaching my goal of simply getting around the track one time despite the snow. I felt like I took the easy way out. I felt like I should have tried harder to get through the snow and cold. I felt....like this walk was mimicking everything else going on in my life.

I'm my toughest critic, and it's a hard pill for me to swallow when I know I'm not succeeding at something. Succeeding in my eyes, not others. There have been times over the last year I've felt like I took the easy way out, I should have tried harder, I've been defeated. I've refused to take a shortcut like I did this morning, feeling like if I do it isn't true success. It's a cop-out. 

But I think I gained some clarity during my walk. Yes, I was a bit defeated, and in no way wanted to trudge through the rest of the snow. And I realized I didn't have to. Choosing a simpler path doesn't always mean failure, it means knowing when to know your limits and seek a different way.

Even though I didn't get everything I wanted to out of my walk around the path, I gained enough perspective and courage to try harder to walk the path standing in front of me. 

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