Here's a Middle Finger to the Ring Finger!

In Western cultures, a wedding ring is worn on the left ring finger. This developed from the Romans, and according to tradition in some countries, the wedding ring is worn on the left ring finger because the vein in the left ring finger, was believed to be directly connected to the heart. Blessing the wedding ring and putting it on the bride's finger dates from the 11th century.

How many of you actually knew that? I did not, and I thank Wiki for the low down. But that wasn't my question of the day. I want to know, why is it that some people equate happiness and being in a good place in life by what's on your left ring finger?

I can remember finishing college and feeling ready to conquer the world. I got a teaching position I loved, and started grad school. But for some reason I felt the urgency to be engaged and married! So, I got engaged(well of course not that simple, but for reading purposes it was!). Had the big, perfect diamond ring on my left finger. It brought alot of ooohs and aaaahs, and questions of an upcoming wedding. Yes, I was young, but of course there were still those few people that would ask, 'why arent you married yet?' Huh. Really? So they see the engagement ring, and automatically expect more. Lovely.

So, I get married, I stop wearing my engagement ring and just go with a plain wedding band. If you're a teacher you know the suckiness of chalk dust in your diamond setting. Anyway, then I find different questions begin. A few assume that I'm not married too long because of the lack of an anniversary band. Then I get an anniversary band, and they assume that I've been married for a long, long time, and things are awesome. But then they assume no children because there's nothing with birthstones. Then when I moved to PA, I actually, no joke, spoke to a girl that thought we were kinda sorta poor in her way of words, because I didn't have an engagement ring. Yea, silly me not wearing something every day that's worth more than your car. Argh.

Then last year my ring finger became naked. All my rings went into the pretty little boxes they started in. WELL. Empty ring fingers bring a whole new level to people's thoughts. She's divorced. She has kids but no husband. Wow, she's old and still not married(well that one is what I would think lol). Poor girl. How sad. Yada yada yada, you get my point. Here's a graph(yup, math nerd) of how I think people see your left finger.


I don't know why this all popped in my head yesterday, but truth be told, it urks me a bit. A bunch. I know people are judgmental, and I know that can't be changed. It's the assumptions that are made that bother me the most. Don't assume I have a crappy, hard life. Don't assume it sucks being single at this age. Don't assume my kids aren't better off.  Don't assume that because someone does have something on their ring finger they are happier than me. Or happy at all.

Comments

  1. Ambitions of a Trophy WifeMarch 13, 2011 at 12:41 PM

    so true.... it is amazing what we put merit into, both as individuals and society.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AGMarch 13, 2011 at 11:47 PM

    amen. I'm so tired of feeling like I have to justify my ringless finger. I just haven't met anyone good enough to be my husband. And that's okay with me.

    ReplyDelete

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