Life in the Slow Lane

Well, I never thought I'd be saying this, but my little Christmas baby has rubbed off on me over the last few years. I find myself wanting to put out my decorations, hit play on my Elvis CD, and watch Rudolph. But strangely, I am getting resistance on the home front. What gives?? I know it's early, I'm well aware of the Halloween candy still sitting on the table. But with the weather changing(only slightly lol), I'm in holiday mode.  Perhaps it's because I don't have much to do during the day. Perhaps it's because I love the nights of sitting with hot chocolate and staring at the lights. But I'm pretty sure it's because of the family that I am blessed to have, with now four amazing children that I can't wait to spend the holidays with! It could be worse. I could still be living in the days of Alex listening to Christmas music year round and wanting the tree up in July :)

I know I'm not the only one here that is heard some of the terrible stories that come along with the demons of Facebook. Friendships are questioned, friendships end. Boys and girls fight, both young and old. People break up, people get divorced, and so on. I've heard Facebook is nothing but trouble, Facebook is the devil, I would never join Facebook. But how about the other side of Facebook? The amazing side of Facebook? Sure there's other social media, but nothing quite as far-reaching as Facebook. The friend you haven't seen in 20 years since high school or childhood. The long-lost family that hasn't heard from you in ages. The family that you miss far away, but you feel like you're always there celebrating with them for the special occasions because you get to hear about all of the different steps along the way, and see all the amazing photos. Sure I have to had my share of problems on Facebook, but have also had the privilege of mending relationships through

Last week we went to the boys' annual checkup at the pediatrician. You know the appointment, you wait for what feels like an eternity, just to get into the tiny room, be poked at for a minute, then released to pay? Ya. But when I checked out I was given a new kind of 'receipt'. On each was the child's stats from the current visit, along with any other pertinent health happenings from birth to now. And I was faced with this on the top of Alex's paper: PROBLEM LIST. That was the first thing I noticed. Those ding dongs that just want money, see my son as having problems. Nice. But after I got past that title, the list below it hit me. Hard.  Our Autism journey has been nothing short of a miracle as most of you know. I wish I had documented more of our last 7 years. But now is so different than then. Alex is mainstreamed. He doesn't shut up. He's funny as hell. Yes, he struggles with his words sometimes, his anger sometimes, definitely with schoolwo

Why am I being handed Christmas lists already? It's way. Too. Early. I have way bigger things to think about(um wedding in 13 days!), and spending an obscene amount of money on items that wind up sitting in a closet until at least July is not a priority. I can remember asking for things when I was younger, and getting maybe 1 of the items on my list. My dad would give my mom a very tight budget for Christmas shopping, and she stuck to it. I got some nice items that I still have, but the list was usually out the window. So why is it so different these days? I find myself making sure I got everything on the lists, and then some. I save up for half a year to top the previous Christmas, and I'm pretty sure the kids now expect it. Which is why this year I'm all about operation 'scale back.' Sure, I was ticked when that Strawberry Shortcake doll wasn't under the tree, but I was grateful for what was. We were taught that you don't get everything you want, and there

I noticed the weirdest thing this morning. When I went onto Google to find some information, I found myself automatically typing in "Should I.....". I stopped after the results came up and though ' wth, when did I trust Google so much to ask it's OPINION on matters of life? ' Sure, I love Google... we get along well. I am a pretty rad searcher gal, and always find what I need. But this is a way deeper relationship with Google than I planned on having. Do I not value people's opinions enough so I ask a search engine? Do I just need some affirmation of my own decisions? Am I just that naive? Not really sure. She(yes, my Google is a she) did give me the results I was hoping looking for, but I'm not sure if I trust her. I'm sure she could have given me lots of results on both sides of the fence, but she went with all the positive ones as her top choices. Is Google now in the business of just pleasing me and telling me what I want to hear? I don'

My days are different lately. I will spare you all the drab details, but what I will say is how life can change in the blink of an eye(yes, literally). I'm not a good decision maker, and have been known to make my fair share of lousy ones. But what I can say on the flip side, is that even if I make a crap decision, I somehow, always dig myself out of the hole I got into, and come out clawing and stronger. That's how I feel today. That's how I've felt for a few weeks now. Shit, I'm in a hole. A big hole. A hole that I didn't fall into, I actually jumped in. My best move? Some would say absolutely, positively not. I (not today but at times) say hell yes. If you don't change and take a leap sometimes, how does life move forward? Isn't that why they call it a ' leap of faith '? You might not have my back this time, or during some of my previous decisions, and that's ok. There have been times I was on the outside looking in on someone, just

**DISCLAIMER!** Sometimes I use the blogging app, and apparently this never posted:( Enjoy anyway, even though it mentions summer, it's still a great thought for every day with our children! I've been busy really enjoying my summer with the boys home. And I just finished reading my blog book! I've been trying to read a few books a week, but so far have been disappointed with every one I've gotten through. What are you reading right now? Back to our summer. When the boys were smaller, I have to admit, I was not a hands-on summer mom. I would do the daily routine and duties that were associated with having small people(fed them, took them to the park, play dates), but I never really jumped into the summer with them. A few years ago I learned the importance of being really present with them. Not on the phone, not texting or watching tv, just with them. I've learned to take them fishing, to the beach for the day, hiking, or just play board games with them. I kn

I wish I could show you my office desk right now, but I'm too afraid to even touch anything no less take a picture. This wedding invitation stuff is no joke.  Oh, did I just say wedding? Ya, that's where I've been for the last month. Planning for some super fun nuptials in September! So many words can describe the hecticness I am experiencing, but I'm sure most of you can already imagine. I don't know how some gals spend over a year(and a year's paycheck!) planning a wedding. I'm pretty sure I have it all in check, and am being very conscious of time, money, kids, etc., but of course being a freak for details it gets tricky at times.  Stay tuned for updates when I actually remember to do so! I am trying to get as much done as I can before school starts to ease that last minute pressure :)

Can it really be? My baby is 10? TEN.....it just doesn't seem possible. Ten years ago I only saw 4th of July fireworks from a hospital window. Ten years ago I was just a girl who wanted a baby more than anything in life, not knowing what an emotional roller coaster it would be. Ten years ago I wasn't even half the woman I am now, because nothing has ever made me grow up or evolve more than having Chris. Ten years ago I didn't know how great life would be ten years later. Chris is an amazing young man, with an incredibly bright future ahead. I know I sometimes expect way too much from him, but its hard not to knowing how absorbent and grand his brain is. He has dreams of being a marine biologist, magician, and the guy who cures cancer. Whatever his path and life, may he be happy and healthy throughout his journey. Happy 10th Birthday, Christopher. I hope today is a great start to your year ahead! xoxo                                   

I hear that comment all the time. Have since I was young actually. I was never the gal that slept my day away. My parents got up early, so it just became habit. But with the habit came some clarity of why people get up early. To me, the early hours are the best, most important part of the day. Sure it's coffee time on the porch, but its also bonding time with the family. My guy leaves for work at 7, so that one or two hours before he leaves is a time to relax before the hurry, talk, and watch nature from the porch together. We have some of our best conversations at 5am when we are recharged! And my boys. They are early risers for sure, since they were born. Our early morning hours together are lovely. They are still quiet from just waking, and not fighting. But they are also so sweet, and cuddly. We might watch tv in bed, hang on the porch, or just sit at the dining room table. Wherever we are, it's our time of day to really connect. Spending that extra time together also sets

I have to share with you what came in the mail last night...so excited! A few months ago a friend said she loved reading my blog, and thought it was a great way to leave my thoughts for my children some day. I never thought of my blog like that until that moment. What an amazing gift for them to read when older. Imagine if our grandparents blogged(guess it was called writing a diary back in the day lol). I started worrying that someday my blog would be deleted... it would be lost in cyber space, and I couldn't let that happen. But how great would it be to have my blog turned into a book!!?! Turns out that is so do-able, and wait til you see it! I decided to just start with the first three years of my blog(established in 2008!). I didn't want the book too big, and I am in no way done blogging, so knew there would be a volume 2 at some point. Ok I've made you wait long enough, here it is! I could show you tons, but you get the point. It'

I know some of my readers are young(er) than me, so I wanted to share this if you've never seen this. It's a column that was written in 1997 for the Chicago Tribune, and I'm sure has been read at countless graduation ceremonies since. Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '98: Wear sunscreen. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now. Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine. Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know t

I just saw this and got a little ticked: Don't ask why I got ticked, I'm not too sure, it just doesn't sit well. If you're having a day where you are feeling down and pessimistic, you could care less about this silliness! I have a lovely life and lovely things, I don't deny that. But I'm a gal that always wants more. Not material things, just life happenings.  I'm having one of those days where I question every aspect of one area of life. How did I get here? What can make it better? Why is it never enough? I've said before that I'm a pessimist , and I firmly stand behind that self proclamation. I find it easier to see the negative, then be pleasantly surprised at the positive when(if) arrives. My judgement is severely clouded today though, so I don't even know what I feel.  I can tell you I'm smelling change in the air though. No idea if that will change my perception of this life area, but I know it will make me feel somethin

Thought this would be a cute addition to the blog every now and then. It's a great way for a quick overview that still makes me have to think a little!

Why does time seem to go so quickly? It never did when the kids were tiny, the days seemed to be endless. Each year goes just a bit faster than the last. I love to tell the kids to hurry up and get tall so we can ride more coasters, get a little older so we can do more fun family things, but today, when my baby is turning 8, I just want time to come to a complete stand still. I have such vivid memories of being in the hospital with my sister, patiently waiting for my sweet baby. We ate donuts, watched tv, and laughed all night. Now eight years later, I ran upstairs this morning to be sure to be the first to say Happy Birthday, and his bright eyes made my whole day. He is becoming such a wonderful young man. So kind, polite, and compassionate. I'm proud of all of the strides he has made this year and every year before, and he has changed me in more ways than I ever thought possible. Sorry if I'm sounding a bit sappy today, 8 just seems like a turning point from little t

Today marks the twelfth year since an event changed the way I see life. I have very clear memories from this exact time of day, pulling into my parking spot at my school, getting a phone call on my giant old cell phone. I heard what he was telling me, but just wasn't processing it. For everything I believed in at the time, I just could not understand why someone would be taken from the world at our age. He had started flying a straight course and was turning into an amazing man with a big future. All to be snatched in seconds.  After that moment I had days on end of coming home from work, sitting on the front lawn, and just staring at the lake that was across from our house. I searched for answers that were just not there. I saw lives change and hearts broken. A mother should never have to feel that deep sorrow that never leaves. It is then that I lost my sense of anything greater than us. That of course continued to evolve over the next few years, a story for another time. Of cour

I have forgotten what it's like to have a baby/young child. The puppy(as silly as it sounds), has really reminded me how crappy some things were. She's up crying at night, has to always go to the bathroom, and needs attention ALL of the time. But I forgot the fun stuff too. The 'firsts'. She was born in February, so she is learning to enjoy laying in the sun. How to play fetch. And today was her first time in a fresh cut lawn. I couldn't wait to take her outside to see what she thought of the smell/texture, and she loves it! Even though I'm exhausted and she drives me batty at times, I'm enjoying the chance to do things for the first time again.

I've told you about my mom before. She's selfless, amazing, and fun. My mom tells it like it is, can seem gruff, but is the sweetest lady around. Family life, career, cancer, you name it, she kicks ass and takes names. Last week was her 29th birthday again, and  I was lucky enough to zip home to NY to celebrate with her, my sisters, and my niece for dinner after work one night. We are a family that fights. That holds grudges. That can go weeks without a word when life gets busy. But when we are together, everything comes together.We laughed so hard my throat actually hurt when I got home. We ate, we told stories, we caught up on all the current events and gossip. And we laughed. Boy, did we laugh. Sometimes living away from home, I don't realize how much I miss. Even something as small as a dinner means so much more now. Maybe it's a good thing I am so busy that I put it out of my mind. Otherwise I'd probably be sad all of the time. There's no

I have loved Shazam since the beginning of time . I did not keep a running record when I recently got a new phone though, so all of my old tags are gone(I think?). But here's what I've been tagging lately. I have no rhyme or reason to my music selections, but they always fit my mood. You can see I went from angry to dancing to sentimental in this short little group a few weeks ago. Nowadays, I Shazam to remind myself of songs I like, not find new music. Then I open up the app when I'm grabbing some downloads. Handy and fun!

I've been waiting months to sit out here and stare into nothingness. And I must say, it was lovely the last two days. But now? Well, now it's 30 degrees again and raining. It's gross, and making me both tired and cranky. And we all know what comes next: we will jump right to a hot summer. Boo. (But at least school will be out!)

Is it kinda sad that I find these so funny? That my guy says I now have ' Candy Crush Mouth' for all of the obscenities I yell after I run out of moves? If you play too, I don’t really need to explain myself. Besides, I can quit any time I want too….(humor me, ok?)