The Fractions of a Negative Thinker.


Optimism: hopefulness and confidence about the future or successful outcome of something.

Sadly, I'm a real half glass empty kind of gal. Always have been. Not sure why. I had a good upbringing. Good family, nice home in a nice neighborhood, plenty of friends, good health. Yet, I never saw the positive side of life.

Then, around the time I finished college and got married, my glass was a little more than half empty. Life changing things were happening all around me to those I loved, and there was nothing I can do for any of them. The glass was at about a quarter full.

Now as a grown woman, smart mama of 2 super kiddies, I find myself once again looking at things pessimistically. Why me? How did I wind up here? How did I let this happen? What now? I can't do it. I won't do it. I'm not as strong as people think I am. My glass is now about an eighth full.

I have some super positive people in my life, and that helps a little. I like seeing that happy, easily positive outlook. But for some reason, I just can't jump on that bandwagon. Why? I'm always sure something bad is going to happen. Everything is going to have a negative effect in some way. That glass is getting closer to a sixteenth full every day lately.

How do I fill it back up?

Comments

  1. AnonymousJune 8, 2010 at 7:55 PM

    I could tell you how to fill it back up, but then I'd have to charge you $200 an hour! Ha! Just kidding.

    All I can really say is, I love you!!! Surviving isn't always pretty, but even if you're down to a little bit of condensation on the inside of your glass, you'll still be ok.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

He's not the problem, their list is.

Image
Last week we went to the boys' annual checkup at the pediatrician. You know the appointment, you wait for what feels like an eternity, just to get into the tiny room, be poked at for a minute, then released to pay? Ya. But when I checked out I was given a new kind of 'receipt'. On each was the child's stats from the current visit, along with any other pertinent health happenings from birth to now. And I was faced with this on the top of Alex's paper: PROBLEM LIST. That was the first thing I noticed. Those ding dongs that just want money, see my son as having problems. Nice. But after I got past that title, the list below it hit me. Hard.  Our Autism journey has been nothing short of a miracle as most of you know. I wish I had documented more of our last 7 years. But now is so different than then. Alex is mainstreamed. He doesn't shut up. He's funny as hell. Yes, he struggles with his words sometimes, his anger sometimes, definitely with schoolwo
Don't Stop Now! »

I've been driving for 19 years!

Image
My dad has a habit of buying a new car every year(used to be every six months!) and I think I got that habit. I've tried to stretch it to every 2-3 years at this point in life, but I'm thinking if I get back into a comfy place in life money-wise, I'll be right back to it. Here's a look back at some of my cars.... My first car was a 1979 VW Rabbit in poo brown. My dad and I sanded it down and took it for a $99 Maaco paint job. I chose turquoise. Horrid. We called it the blue dot special after that. I loved that car. My next baby was a 1987 Mercury Lynx. I liked this car, had much more room than the VW. I had an accident on the way to school one morning(rear ended my friend's mom!) and my punishment was to pay off the damage repair. I came home from work one day and the car was gone, dad sold it. Apparently when you go to college you don't need a car. :/ My 1993 Geo Tracker, by far my favorite to that point, and my friends will all tell you it was fun
Don't Stop Now! »
Image
Well, I never thought I'd be saying this, but my little Christmas baby has rubbed off on me over the last few years. I find myself wanting to put out my decorations, hit play on my Elvis CD, and watch Rudolph. But strangely, I am getting resistance on the home front. What gives?? I know it's early, I'm well aware of the Halloween candy still sitting on the table. But with the weather changing(only slightly lol), I'm in holiday mode.  Perhaps it's because I don't have much to do during the day. Perhaps it's because I love the nights of sitting with hot chocolate and staring at the lights. But I'm pretty sure it's because of the family that I am blessed to have, with now four amazing children that I can't wait to spend the holidays with! It could be worse. I could still be living in the days of Alex listening to Christmas music year round and wanting the tree up in July :)
Don't Stop Now! »